There is something extremely refreshing about taking a holiday. By stepping back and letting go, you create space. And from that space, new perspectives are born. As hard as it was for me to take a break (in fear of everything falling apart), I am so pleased that I gave myself permission to enjoy a few beautiful weeks in Venice and Paris with my family. I have come back with fresh eyes. It feels nice.
While I was away, I kept myself inspired and aligned by listening to my playlist of 'inspirational audios' as I call them. They are a mixture of talks by people who I love and admire, and hearing their words always helps to reconnect me to my truth. One of the teachers I often listen to is Ekhart Tolle.
On one gorgeous afternoon in Paris I was sitting on the couch of our apartment as the sun was setting, looking out on to our gorgeous view of the eiffel tower, and listening to a talk by Ekhart. In this particular audio, a member of the audience asked about how to deal with feelings of not being good enough, and primarily the thought that 'there is something wrong with me'. As I listened to this audience member share their struggle with unsupportive self talk, a lack of self love, and limiting beliefs, I realised just how common this thought pattern is. With every client I work with in my coaching sessions, I hear these same limiting thought patterns arise.
As this man continued with his story about these thought patterns that he continued to face, Ekhart Tolle simply listened and then chuckled lovingly. And then he replied
"...that feeling that something is wrong with you, is not a personal problem of yours. Is is a universal, human condition. You may be surprised to know that there are millions... billions of people on the planet who have that same thought pattern. It is part of the human ego..."
And what is why I decided to write this post. Because there are millions, if not billions of people on the planet who are living with this way of thinking. If you can relate, it is my hope that you will benefit from these tips.
5 WAYS TO BECOME TRULY HAPPY WITH WHO YOU ARE
1. CHOOSE LOVE
If you really want to be happy with yourself, you have to make a choice. You can either choose to continue to cling to all of your old, crappy, disempowering stories which keep you safe. Or, you can choose to find the courage to let them go, and finally start to think thoughts that will empower and support you. You must choose to think loving thoughts over anything else.
Until you have made the conscious decision to choose love over your old fear-driven stories, you will always find yourself slipping back to your old patterns. You must decide that enough is enough.
One beautiful technique that I have been using recently, is one I learnt from the beautiful Gabrielle Bernstein. This technique involves laughing at the "tiny mad ideas" of your ego. When your mind starts playing those old stories that usually bring up feelings of fear or worry, simply laugh at them. Laughing at these thoughts takes away their power and helps you see them as what they really are - ridiculous disillusions!!
The truth is that you are infinitely capable, abundantly gifted and you have unlimited potential. When you see yourself that way, you cannot help but laugh at these silly little fearful thoughts that attempt to tear you down.
2. MAKE YOURSELF PROUD
Do you ever beat up on yourself for not achieving things that you set out to do? Or for not having enough self-discipline? Or for not being good enough? Or for not doing enough? etc.. The list goes on.
It is time to start intentionally setting yourself up for success so that you can create reasons to be proud of yourself. If you set a massive goal to go on a huge detox, lose 5kg's and exercise every morning at 5am you are giving your inner critic plenty of opportunities to beat on yourself if you fail.
But if you set small goals that have a high probability of achievement, then you create beautiful opportunities for you be successful. As you experience more and more success, and learn to celebrate these successes you cannot help but start to feel proud of yourself.
Start to intentionally create experiences which will allow you to feel proud of yourself. This practice enables you to become the type of person you truly want to be, and eliminates any change your inner critic may have to try and tear you down.
3. ACKNOWLEDGE YOURSELF
This flows on from the above point. You cannot be proud of yourself unless you are willing to acknowledge how freaking amazing you are. You are un-belieeeevably amazing. Don't ever forget it.
Look for any opportunity you can to acknowledge your awesomeness. In everything you do, notice the aspects of it that you did really well. Even if you only did one thing well, just focus on that. Turn your attention away from all the things that you feel were not good enough. Stop looking in the mirror and only noticing your flaws! Stop replaying memories of times where you failed!
You have a choice about what you are going to focus on, and it is time to start focusing on all the things that beautiful, bright, gorgeous and spectacular about you.
Being happy with you are is not about becoming perfect. It is not about getting rid of all the 'bad' things about you. It is about loving and accepting all part of you and then choosing to find the beauty in all of it.
4. SPEAK KINDLY TO YOURSELF
If there is one message that I want you to get from this post, it is that you must never underestimate the power of your words. Your words create. Your words define you. Your words tell the Universe who you are.
How do you speak to yourself? If you were on the verge of trying something new, attempting a new project, stepping out of your comfort zone, what do you say? Do you say "I can" or "I can't"?
If you tell yourself something long enough, pretty soon you will believe it. So, if there is something you want to believe about yourself but at the moment it does not feel true to you, then I encourage you to just say it anyway. By speaking new words about yourself, you will be reprogramming your unconscious mind and sending new messages to all of the cells in your body about who you are.
Fake it until you make it. If you don't believe in yourself then start saying "I believe in myself" over and over. If you do not love yourself, start each day by looking in the mirror and say "I love and accept myself just as I am" If you have been saying "I can't do it" for years and years, it is time to started replacing that with "I can".
5. REMEMBER, YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS
Do not let yourself become so attached to your thoughts. Many of us cling to our thoughts and allow them to define us. You are not your thoughts. Any thought that you think which is not driven by love, is not who you really are. Do not buy in to the illusions. Do not believe the lies you are telling yourself.
Choose what thoughts you think, based on the person you want to become. You cannot become the most confident and beautiful version of yourself if you continue to think negative thoughts about yourself. You can let go of an old thought in an instant and choose a new one just as quickly.
By changing the way that you think about yourself you will change the world that you create around yourself. Make the decision to think differently. To cleanse the human mind of our unloving thought patterns we must each start by taking responsibility to change our own individual thoughts. We can change the world, one thought at a time.
+Have you ever struggled with thoughts of not being good enough, or lack of self-love, or the feeling that there is something wrong with you?
+What strategies have you used to overcome them? How do you reconnect with your truth?